How To Do Solo Odyssey

“I” is a thing of placement within a darkness

When we speak of things of the flesh we speak of the temporary identity with which you are now consumed. It matters not how you choose to orient that identity with the experience of its interaction with the material world. What matters is that you base your existence on this temporary form. That is the addiction. How many times did you begin your sentences with the word I? Iam this and I am that and I have accomplisged this and that and so on and so on and so on. That is the darkness. Your “I” is a thing of temporary placement within a darkness that you are not moving out from but continuing to return to. You say that you sacrifice much for asceticism. And yet you admit from your very first post that you find yourself the enemy to those here that seek higher being.  If you came to a doorway through which you could see nothing on the other side, and a sign on the door read ‘once entering there can be no return’, would you enter into it?  If not that is service to self. If you came to that same doorway and the sign read ‘enter here to discover immortality for one that you love, but you cannot return’, would you enter? If you did that would be service to others. As your fellowman and brother in the All, I ask you to leave the darkness for All our sake. Seek your higher being so that we All might experience it. If you remain in the darkness you drag us All back with you. we are One! Forget the “I”, and love the All. That is our grand design and your destiny. Your “I” simply prolongs the darkness you force Us to share as the experience of the All. One day all of humnanity will proceed beyond the darkness, will you be the last one through that door? Where do you draw the line and begin to walk forward?

I will be controlled by neither flesh nor blood, nor will of another

You often speak of “addiction to the things of the flesh” in reference to what you call darkness. I find this peculiar. From personal experience I have always been inclined towards asceticism. Discipline and control over fundamental impulses, desires, and actions has always been the cornerstone of my being. I have a nearly pathological aversion to dependence of any kind. It was a desire for independence from the whims of flesh and blood that my study in detachment and separateness began in earnest.  You will find in my personal habits the most temperate of men. I indulge in neither promiscuous sex or drugs, and have only one to two alcoholic drinks a week, usually with a meal. Neither do I indulge in fattening or rich food, as I have no attachment to food other than to consume what is necessary to function. So my diet is bland, nutritious, and rarely varies. I workout 4-6 days a week, engaging in intensive weight training, running, and yoga, to strengthen and purify the body so that it operates at optimal levels. Also, even though I am both financially and professional successful, I spend only a fraction of what I make, as I have an aversion to dependence on material things. In short, you will find I am quite detached from this world, this body, and its fleshly desires. I will be controlled by neither flesh nor blood, nor will of another.

Regarding “love”

As I understand it, the STO orientation strives for unconditional love which is to be universally given. For the STS oriented entity, love is directed toward the Creator, and the self as a specific manifestation/aspect of the Creator. Love of other-selves, when/if given, is given conditionally to the extent that the other-self is a reflection of the self as a manifestation of the Creator.It may surprise you to know that I have a mate. For all intents and purposes she is as close to a female version of myself as possible in this density. She is a wanderer, like myself, with her origin in the same or similar density as my own. Neither of us “dated” either casually or seriously before meeting one another. In fact, we were both primarily asexual. Upon meeting one another, a sort of fusion occurred, with the more dominant entity (me) prevailing in the minor ways that we were different. That being said, our relationship is based on duty, respect, and understanding – with the explicit understanding that love is conditional, and must be daily earned. All walk a path from oneness with Creator, through the illusion of separateness, back to unity. Those who wander all serve the basic mission of facilitating unity with Creator. My mission is no different. I believe my primary mission is to be channel for the light/love of the Creator, to increase the planetary frequency. In doing this I also help both wanderers and third density entities Awaken and rid themselves of defect. While it is true that a highly polarized entity can switch polarity, the uncharged/unawakened entity must first polarize in one direction or the other, to refine the will and attain the gateway to intelligent infinity. Do to the karmic path and primal distortions of a given entity, they may be inclined to one or the other polarities. Therefore, one path may be a more expedient and efficient means of progressing. At the present time, there are many unpolarized/unawakened entities on this planet, that waffle back and forth from incarnation to incarnation between STO and STS, never truly achieving polarization and the gateways to intelligent infinity. I believe this is largely attributable to the respective efforts of fourth density entities to “aid” these entities, so that they may chose the “right path.” The ultimate polarization of an entity is of no moment to me. Attainment of the gateway of intelligent infinity and progression towards unity with the Creator is my only concern. I do this primarily by balancing entities close to awakening, and removing defective energy patterns. If the entity wishes to progress in the ways of the STS orientation I instruct them, teaching the path I know best. I determined a few years ago that it would be socially and professional advantageous to take a mate. Having an appropriate mate heightens the perception of stability and normalcy, also choosing a mate of appropriate pedigree may have socio-economic benefits. This was my primary motivation. As I stated previously, the love of my mate has been to the extent that she reflects the self. Before we were together I dated one or two normal girls of appropriate pedigree and attractiveness, but soon learned that once they got a peak under the mask they were terrified. The easy charm and perfect smile that comes so easily to the STS oriented entity is not very effective in intimate relationships.

Negative Polarity

I am cognizant of the potentiality of a highly polarized entity switching polarity. Prior to dedicating myself fully to the conscious pursuit of the STS (service to self) path, I forced myself into a STO (service to others) orientation so that I might make a more informed decision. I learned much from this experience, as to both the value and allure of the STO orientation. I believe being able to experience the duality/unity of polarity is a imperative step in the spiritual progression of any entity. However, in my exploration of the STO orientation there was also that which I found incongruous with my primal distortions towards STS.The unified Creator – without distortion or separateness – consists of forces that both pull its infinite energy towards itself, as well as forces that in the totality of unity are separate, utterly independent, and all encompassing. As intelligent energy progresses back to the Creator, these tendencies are manifested in the STO and STS orientations, with those of an STO orientation manifesting the pulling togetherness of the Creator, and those of the STS orientation seeking the knowingness and completeness of self. This latter aspect is the primal impulse of my being that calls to the Creator.

 

-Zaxon

My preference is Negativity

I accepted the darkness in myself many years ago. I have always been conscious of the fact that I identify with shadows. I lured the creature to my dreams with a hunter’s eye toward conquest. I intentionally depolarized and waffled between polarities, and called outward to any who would respond. The shadow creature answered my call, as I had hoped, sensing my energy was unstable and weak. However, its threat and attempt to dominate me had the effect of pushing me more deeply into negative polarity than I had ever been. I felt myself become electric power and pure will, and consumed him with hunger and wicked glee. As I consumed the creature I myself became what might be described as an etheric dragon. Consuming the creature was the act of a victor consuming the residual bodily energies of a foe.I have experienced both polarities and find my preference is negativity. All beings are capable of either polarity, however, I believe most are natively attuned to one or the other. I can experience the positive energies, but have no desire to walk the positive path. My native distortions call towards negativity and always have. Either path may lead to the joy one feels upon attaining intelligent energy. Desires determine how the energy is used and how one is to be of service. I have no desires to aid others, so I tend towards passivity when I attempt the STO orientation, even though I can experience the creation with immense empathy and comprehend other selves as unity. The passivity makes it difficult to summon the desire even to move. However, in negative polarity I am able to dynamically experience intelligent energy, as there is no limit to my desire for self-aggrandizement. -Zaxon

Interdependence or Dominance

I prefer independence and freedom. My most basic desire is to be alone with the Creator, without distraction. The relative frailty of these corporal bodies requires humanity to live in what you call “society” – I find this to be an unfortunate and unpleasant condition. I prefer a libertarian social structure, where entities loosely associate where they have a mutual cause or interest, but otherwise take responsibility for their own lives. I believe societal structures to make the individual dumb, weak, and complacent. Below I have reposted some of what I wrote in another thread about the misconceptions of STS entities.”It is not surprising that a STO entity would view a STS social-memory complex as chaotic, given its tendency to disintegrate and reintegrate. However, this perception comes from a misunderstanding of STS entities. While STS entities are capable of forming social-memory complexes, this is not our desired or preferred state of existence. STS entities form social-memory complexes when it is necessary and beneficial to the self to do so. A thing that occurs when there is either existential threat, or to a achieve a mutual objective that cannot be achieved alone. As soon as the objective or threat is eliminated the STS social-memory complex loses focus and tends towards entropy as the association has outlived its utility.The STS distortion towards power is a byproduct of the fundamental distortion/desire towards independence, separateness, and freedom. Things that can only be achieved by becoming as strong as the strongest force that threatens your selfhood an independence. This is the source of what you might refer to as the “distortion towards power.” It is also this distortion that causes the top down structure of what you refer to as the Orion Group. Only the most powerful entity in the group will be capable of marshaling the energies of the individual STS entities to form a social-memory complex, as each STS’s desire for for either separateness or control causes entropy that must be overcome by a stronger ordering force. Entities capable of marshaling this much power and control will typically be either high fourth density or above. I believe the threat or objective would have to be significant for a fifth density or higher STS entity to involve itself in such an undertaking, as it faces few threats, and its main objective is unity with the Creator and understanding of self. In this respect the higher orders of STS entities will be extraordinarily detached and other-selves will have lost most of their utility, as there are few things that cannot be accomplished by the self. Therefore, the character of the Orion Group will often fluctuate, being dependent upon the mastering personality/entity. I believe the “negative” manifestations of STS are largely a result of high fourth density entities who yet enjoy power for power’s sake.”-Zaxon Either interdependence or dominance is necessary to form a social-memory complex. However, the social-memory complex is a thing used out of necessity to achieve a mutual objective for Service to Self entities. It is a thing tolerated, but is neither desired or aspired to.-Zaxon

Agnostic/Atheistic view of the World

I have held an Agnostic/Atheistic view of the world for the larger part of my existence. I sought knowledge of the esoteric realms as an adolescent out of an inner seeking – but eventually abandoned the pursuit when I found much of the information to either be frivolous, incorrect, or intuition absent discernment. Going forward I firmly grounded myself in the present and intellectual, and meticulously constructed the human facade that serves me to this day. Therefore, I have many knowledge gaps concerning esoteric/spiritual pursuits – a deficiency I am dedicating significant resources to amending. The Agnostic/Atheistic paradigm was a necessary step in my spiritual progression. It solidified my understanding of separateness and independence, as well as the idea that I am complete in and of myself. Religiosity and many spiritual understandings engender dependence and a master/slave mentality, where the supplicant is ever the weak and trembling slave to a separate all mighty Creator. I found these notions repulsive on a fundamental level from my earliest exposure to them, and rejected them.Of course we are on the same path, all travel from unity with the Creator, through the illusion of separateness, back to unity. Duality is the illusion of separateness that instigates change, and movement back towards unity. All of our differences are merely aspects of the Creator. I wrote an article outlining how a logical mind discovers the Creator and unity. I have been on the STS path my entire life. Both consciously and unconsciously I have manifested the traits of an STS entity since early childhood. I have always had an INTJ Myers-Brigg personality, that has been stable since early childhood, with Thinking and Judgement at the 100% quartile, and Introversion and Intuition at the 80-90% quartiles. Also, even though I have never seen STS as a spiritual path per se, I have spent the last decade or so actively engaged in its pursuit and philosophical understanding. One of my bachelors degrees is in philosophy, where I wrote my thesis on the necessity of the evolutionary imperatives of survival and fitness to inform societal values and ethical systems. At this time I wrote from an Agnostic/Atheistic perspective, and it is only recently that this philosophy has taken on spiritual significance.-Zaxon I wrote from an Agnostic/Atheistic perspective, and it is only recently that this philosophy has taken on spiritual significance.

No, I do not have what is referred to as Aspergers Syndrome

I have always deeply understood and empathized with what is termed Aspergers syndrome. I believe it to be a dysfunctional manifestation of someone with a STS orientation. However, I would say I differ from someone with this dysfunction in several fairly significant ways. Perhaps most significantly, I do not have trouble understanding or relating to other’s emotions. I find that I have exceptional emotional and empathic acuity. Within a few moments of meeting someone I can easily summarize their emotional state, inclinations, basic desires, and most significant defects. However, where one of an STO orientation may become submerged and/or immeshed in the other-self, I am unaffected by the encounter. Another significant departing point is that my emotional intelligence and empathic abilities have allowed me to construct a compelling, charming, and even charismatic human facade. Because I am easily able to “read” a person, it takes no effort for me to manifest a demeanor that most find pleasing and disarming. My natural state most closely resembles that of the “Vulcan,” and it is that aspect that I express here.  -Zaxon